Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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