I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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