And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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