It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
