I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
