I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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