what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
