I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
