so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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