the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
