Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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