Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize