the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
