I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
