is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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