is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
