Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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