either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize