I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
