So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
