He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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