so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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