He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
