You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
