i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
