I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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