I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
