Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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