I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize