Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
