We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
