lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
