I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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