OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize