it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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