And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
