420 ftw
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
