SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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