This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize