you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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