He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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