when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
