I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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