Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize