I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
