and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
