Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
