So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
