Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
