Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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