Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
