the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
