Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
