Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
