My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
