The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
