I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
