school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
