420 ftw
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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