Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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