the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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