Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
that may or may not have been my penis.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
