I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize