Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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