return my video game
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
