we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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