he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
