real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
